The Fantastic Happy Time Msd Bar

Discussion in 'Online Refugees' started by MainCharacter, Jul 21, 2010.

  1. Scyth

    Scyth Well-Known Member

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    That's really great to hear.

    For what it's worth, I still am interested in video games and anime, but if no one shares that interest or even the same scope of the interest, there's no reason to bring it up. In particular, I've really been enjoying hanging out with friends through streaming while playing stuff. It makes singleplayer games a bit more of a social activity, which is fun as I rarely can justify just playing games on my lonesome nowadays.

    Also, as Falcon asked, anything you're interested in now?
     
    saldite likes this.
  2. saldite

    saldite Most Incrediblest

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    Glad to hear things are going alright enough.

    i hate age i'm closer to 30 now than 20 and it's only going up. if it helps, though, even though i still pretty much primarily talk about manga and video games constantly, i always feel like i can't connect with anyone on a personal level at all even if we share the same tastes in media and stuff, like there's a constant wall between society and myself no matter what. so i mean, it's not the worst to not be able to connect with anyone. maybe i just feel like i'm use to it. i don't know.

    just as a general question, i'll reiterate falcon's inquiry: what do you do for some fun now? you collecting some stamps (probably not)?
     
  3. MainCharacter

    MainCharacter Goddess

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    I wanted to ask about that but didn't want to be rude. It's totally okay being a "hot mess" about it, though. So many people take awhile to figure themselves out. The important thing is trying to get yourself in a position and situation where discovering yourself and experimenting until your comfortable is a positive thing and not a negative one. Sadly that's sometimes really difficult and the situations people are in makes this stuff harder to figure out than it should be. Just remember that there's always people who have gone through the same thing before and reach out to them if you need to, and whatever answer you end up at is completely valid!
    And, of course, if you end up at a job that isn't LGBT friendly, get out of there ASAP. It's never worth it.

    I never really understood streaming, or Let's Plays. I think that was the start of me losing interest, so much of video games was heading in that direction. I remember deciding that I only wanted games with good stories but then I realized that there weren't any good enough to be worth the investment. It's not like I suddenly regret ever being into video games or don't understand why people like them, I just haven't seen one that I actually wanted to play in about three years now. I'm glad you're still having fun with them, though, and I hope the streaming stuff stays fun for you.

    I stopped worrying about getting older when I realized I don't owe society anything, after that I stopped feeling that creeping dread that I was running out of time to "do something". As long as I'm surviving, it's good enough. I want to carve out a little corner of life for myself, do my thing, and then fade away.

    Well, a lot of my time is taken up by work, naturally. So I don't really have time or energy to find new hobbies. I mentioned this a year ago too but I'm more social now. In particular, I try to stay involved in my local LGBT scene. There's some really good people here and I've made some real connections. I've also had some connections end up really bad, because I'm a terrible selfish monster sometimes, but I'm trying. So, yeah, sometimes my "hobby" is just talking to people, going out, doing stuff with others. Who would have ever guessed? I'm not the best at it, but there's purpose in it.

    Other than that, it's not like all the things I used to like are suddenly gone. I still watch TV. I have Netflix and Hulu, and internet access for other things. I'm really excited about the new season of Doctor Who. I'm caught up on Game of Thrones. I still read a lot of books. I still listen to a lot of music. I still lay in bed and stare at the wall for hours trying not to scream. I'm still me.
     
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  4. saldite

    saldite Most Incrediblest

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    edit: the original version of this post was embarrassing and rambly, but the general summary for me is that getting older has carried way more negatives in my life that are only going to compile as time goes on and im not a fan

    !!! what music you listen to? i never got a good grasp of your tastes when we were younger and i got the impression you weren't much of a music person.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2018
  5. Yuri

    Yuri Well-Known Member

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    HEY! Glad to see MC is posting here again.

    I like the idea of these catch up posts on here. I wanted to post sooner but I keep getting distracted.


    I feel like I'm in a weird place in my life rn, idk. All I do is work, go home and rest up for work. I'm stuck in a routine - that's all I literally do. I feel like I'm so boring now! I haven't gamed or watched an anime by myself in forever. I haven't even talked with any of my friends and I don't want anyone to think I'm avoiding them or something. I just realized all this and I'm trying to figure out how to break this dumb cycle.
     
  6. MainCharacter

    MainCharacter Goddess

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    Embarrassing and rambly was par for course here for me though. It's fine. If not here I think you should find somewhere you feel comfortable talking about it. It might do some good.

    As for music, I talked about it a fair bit but I don't think it often aligned with your tastes so you didn't notice. I used to be more into rock when I was younger but went through a hard K-Pop phase for a bit that eventually ended with me just being into pop in general. Basic billboard hot 100 modern pop music. I'll listen to almost anything, though.

    That's just life sadly. If you're in the middle class or below, work becomes life and your fun has to be scheduled short bursts around work. If it helps, I'd suggest taking a look at how much you are working. I'm assuming you've got a full time job based on this, so are you doing a standard 8 hour day? Are you getting at least two days off a week? If so, it just becomes about spending your down time wisely. That "rest up for work" period is your free time. You can throw on an episode or two of something a day, or put an hour into a video game. However, if you're going over this and doing more than 40 hours a week make sure it's for a job that's actually worth it. If it IS for a job that's worth it and you're establishing yourself and setting up for the future, just tell yourself that you have less free time now so you'll have more later. If not, though, if it's just a job for some money to survive week to week, maybe look for something else. It's not worth it burning yourself out if it's not going to pay off in the future.
     
  7. SilentThisSide199x

    SilentThisSide199x Well-Known Member

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  8. Scyth

    Scyth Well-Known Member

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    I finally have internet again.

    For me, the streaming aspect is really there just because I have friends that expressed interest in watching and it makes singleplayer games a much more communal event. Especially for me, I've not found a lot of online games I've had much interest in playing with friends despite definitely being more of a social gamer, and it's been hard to justify playing games on my own without any kind of interaction with another person. It's a nice way to bridge that gap and kinda chat and hang out with friends while enjoying video games.

    What books have you been reading?
     
  9. SilentThisSide199x

    SilentThisSide199x Well-Known Member

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    For me I currently like this one streamer who knows a lot about World of Darkness and Vampire in particular so whenever he streams Vampire the masquerade bloodlines he gives some pretty great insight into the surrounding lore of the game from the source tabletop and the greater implications of what's happening in (VTMB is set in Cali) Santa Monica / LA during the course of the game. I had no idea when I played the game like seven years ago about literally anything that was going on in the game other than "you play as a vampire." My last playthrough a month ago was "this is amazing, the philosophical-ethical questions, morality questions, weird conspiracies and vampire historians and scholars and politics" I think I was too stupid seven years ago but even then I think a specific sidequest in Hollywood that I failed ended up giving a great moral lesson that did influence me back then, but I can't be sure.

    (the giovanni clan and tzimisce appear in both bloodlines and redemption, bloodlines as a sorta sequel released two years after that has the same giovanni and tzimisce in it in the same continuity, as a nice follow up / tie-in to both of those clans of vampires)

    Also I wish Ecaterina the Wise from Vampire the Masquerade Redemption was my mom

    [​IMG]



    Also fun fact Gary, Indiana is pretty much the default setting for Vampire games set in modern times. I don't know why. I've been curious about going there in real life since I could conceivably drive there in like an hour out of curiosity. I'm looking forward to the release of 5e but I haven't pre-ordered it yet but I'm new to tabletops and I haven't done a single game yet but two of my friends expressed interest so it might be fun, but I think we're leaning toward Changeling: The Dreaming 20th anniversary(4e basically I think) first because one of my friends prefers high fantasy to low fantasy. I don't think I'd be a good Storyteller or Dungeon Master though, so I'm not sure how that'll go.
     
  10. SilentThisSide199x

    SilentThisSide199x Well-Known Member

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    It was not a thing that ever happened. I would like to say that this is 100% absolutely revisionism. It's been 2 years since this and since then I've kept extensive records, documentation, and the occasional nightly journal about my life. I had to go through various current events on Google and Wikipedia and other such things to remember things past my high school graduation in 2012, as my brain got dumber, but I got increasingly accurate as I remembered more and more making sure I had "events that occurred in material reality" as accurate as I could get them. I still have trauma from this kind of event online and no I don't buy the excuse that it's all made-up, there are other humans interacting with each other on this website and the wider Internet, people behind the screen, not that that excuses any of my previous sins from one lie from someone who may have been hurt by me when I was 20 or so and thus understandably would have to lie. And anyone else I may have hurt in this community. But I still will not stand for revisionism, the truth is immutable.

    I think the history of the original forum started in 2009. According to wikipedia that was when neosteam was published or some shit I don't remember, June 12th 2009? Just to illustrate the timeframes.

    [​IMG]

    But I don't remember when I joined the AtlusOnline forum, nor the year that the event I describe below which is the same event MainCharacter is referring to occurred. But I do remember with precision of some sort.


    What actually happened was:
    X event that occurred on either the old forum, this forum, or the proboards forums, I don't remember which, I was upset about X event that happened on said forum and wanted to very specifically and directly vent about it to my followers on Twitter as an outlet. I did not tell anyone to harass anyone, I was simply sad and wanted to not bottle up my feelings. It was simply a description of that. So it was me saying "On this one forum I go to I'm upset about X thing that happened" I don't know if I said it was AtlusOnline, AO, or anything else, but I was simply too dense to realize I shouldn't be so honest about what I'm tweeting about, but I'm sure it's easy to conceptualize how stupid I was at this point. But other than potentially and obliviously saying AO or AtlusOnline in one(1) tweet, I didn't tell anyone to harass anyone.

    After that I tweeted very specifically ""On this one forum I go to I'm upset about X thing that happened"(the (1) tweet I refer to above) and then after which @Captain Falcon was also following me and yelled at me for that tweet and similar grievances. Prior in the month or before that (1) tweet I think I had tweeted a different tweet that I had gotten sick from sleep deprivation, and he responded with something along the lines of "how could you possibly get sick from sleep deprivation" and I don't remember what I responded with(yet?) and I'm not actually sure what I got sick from then but I do get sick from sleep deprivation sometimes in the past few months. These things are unrelated I'm just saying both things definitely happened and I remember.

    I'd go on but I'm pretty much absolutely certain that what happened was I tweeted the thing(1) with "On this one forum I go to I'm upset about X thing that happened" when I was feeling upset to vent and have an outlet for my feelings in my internal mind into the external, I did not tell anyone to harass anyone, and that was the end of that. But others took different interpretations from that were not reality nor the truth.

    I did everything wrong and I have too many sins, regrets, and mistakes. But I do wish to make sure that this truth is known especially because of those mistakes.
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2018 at 9:46 AM
  11. SilentThisSide199x

    SilentThisSide199x Well-Known Member

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  12. Yuri

    Yuri Well-Known Member

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    You were so on point about my situation in this post, good job! I felt kind of relieved reading your post.. it made me feel a lot better actually, so thanks. I'm working hard on easing up a bit! I am a stronger happier Yuri now. I think.

    Did you ever end up playing P5? I know you liked Makoto visually.
     

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